660 Days

Not really sure if I have ...? - maybe this is all my fault, maybe I shouldn’t take this personally but I just feel hurt. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I hurt to many people and people don’t want to be friends with me. Maybe I should make bigger effort. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I don’t belong. Maybe I should accept the fact that Covid-19 is to blame. But still all of this doesn’t really explains why I feel so sad and alone. I am still very very proud of the fact I don’t use anymore en knowing that I am good enough to be me and to be on this planet. I feel serene and balanced but I cry myself to sleep a lot, I feel so tired, so exhausted of trying to live my life a certain way, keep trying and trying without ‘results’. And maybe i should be happy with everything I have and actually I am... I just feel empty sometimes... I’m just wondering where what and how? I think i’m just struggling with the fact I never get invited somewhere... Sorry if I’m rambling... or if this isn’t making sense...

on the bright side I have a super duper relationship with my family. I have a job. I have a dog that I love so much. I’m healty. I have a roof above my head. When I’m writing this I don’t feel empty but grateful for what I do have. I can only pray for what I first wrote about. ‘Positive mind, positive vibes is a positive life!

Today I’m grateful and ready!

Xoxo

M_In_Recovery