Updated: Aug 31, 2020
Seeking forgiveness - Wow I was looking for a certain document that I need on my laptop and instead of finding the document, I found a bunch of screenshot of messages between people and me. When I read it I was just shocked.. I have been horrible to these people who just wanted to help me. There are people literally saying to me: STOP USING! And reading my answer to this, seeing my denial was so deep. It shows me again that addiction is a disease. And how much you want to help someone who is struggling with addiction, they have to realise it for themselves. I am grateful for the people who tried to help me and had to turn their back on me. I am grateful for the people who stuck by my side, I don't take anyone for granted. I forgive everyone and mostly I apologise for all the mess I made, for being so selfish, for ruining friendship, for sleepless nights, for being a bitch, for making people scared of me, for my inappropriate reactions/situations, stealing, And so much more! I can't change the past and I accept my past because if I didn't have my past, I would not be who I am today.
So thank you to everyone! I hope one day you will be able to forgive me.
“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
One last quote that I learned in treatment:
Don't judge me on my past, I don't live there anymore.