538 Days

Do you know when you are daydreaming about a lot of stuff? That’s what i’m doing now. I’m on the train to see a friend I met in Cape Town. And suddenly I find myself having flashbacks and reviewing things that happend the last couple of months. I can feel how much I’ve grown. But also what I have survived without using. I lost friends, reconnected with friends, grown in my relationship with my family,... and all of this kind of makes me grounded and at peace. I do still miss some people like crazy but that’s life. I am grateful to be alive and to be healthy. Yesterday I got some news about a certain situation and I can feel how much I still resent this whole situation. I can feel the anger going throug my vains. So I’m hoping with writing this I can let go of it easier. We will see! Another thing, something completely different! I WANT A PUPPY 🐶. I love animals and they love me. When I was still in Cape Town I had these 2 amazing dogs to keep me company (weren’t my dogs). When I had a hard time they would come and make me feel better. And that is so beautiful of these animals. At the moment I feel like I’m standing still with life and my direction. I think it’s because I am so scared of what life will bring me. I’m scared that I won’t like the job I do. I’m scared to be alone. I’m scared of so many things. But like my mom said, when you are scared that’s the moment you have to do what you’re scared of. And she is right.

- Progress not perfection

- Shame dies with exposure

- This too shall pass

Lots of Love

M_In_Recovery