535 Days

Never Give Up - I realised that it is amazing to be present in the moment and just enjoy what is going on around me. And knowing that I'm not only physically there but also mentally. That I listen instead of pretending to listen cause all I could think of was using. Being free of lies. Being able to talk about myself and my past. Feeling blessed to be surrounded by people I actually love and respect. Being grateful for the people who did turn their back on me when I was out of hand (I know this might not make sense but it does, if people didn't do this then they were enabling me to continue using and I would've never seen how many people I was losing or hurting. So actually they turning their back on me was a consequence of my using which led to my rock bottom. Hitting rock bottom made me decide it was time to get/accept some help). I start realising more and more that I wanna help other people like I was helped. It has been a difficult week for me but this moment made me very happy and it made me feel that I am okay and that I can have fun not using. It's a boost to continue my sober life. Knowing everything will be okay in the end. It's okay not to be okay, it's okay to be okay and I'll never give up. But I will take it day by day, one day at a time. In this moment while i'm writing this I feel grateful and blessed.

Lots of love

M_In_Recovery