519 days

Holding on to something you so desperate want can pull you down. Guess what happend to me? I was holding on to something that may or may not happen. Now I know it will never happen and I don't feel so great at the moment but I guess this is life. I just need to accept the fact that I can't change the situation. It hurts like hell but I know I will get through it. It feels like the end of something that I felt comfortable and safe in. My 'new chapter' that I was going to write falls into the water and I need to find a new plan or direction. I don't know if I can do it again but I will have to. My motivation at the moment is very low but I guess that is normal.The most positive and important of all this is that I am not using to forget all these feelings. I have been hurt a lot of times in the past 17 months so I will get through this and I will be stronger then I was. It's something I need to learn from. It's life on life terms. It just sucks that this all happend after I had to open an old wound so now I feel the hurt even more then I already was. I just know that this too shall pass. Like I said in previous post, life is a rollercoaster of emotions and it is not always rainbows and sunshine. Just take it day by day and trust your Higher Power.

Lots of Love

M_In_recovery