1484 Days
Dear readers,
I was talking about my blog today and I was thinking that it again has been a while since I've written anything. So let me explain why that is... I don't have a fixed day when I write ... I just write whenever I feel like writing and also I never have a certain topic to write about. I just start typing and publish it. And yes there are mistakes in my English but I really don't care about that hahaha I'm not perfect en not english... So let's see what I write about today!
Earlier today I was reflecting on a few things and I openend Instagram and read this quote: " After certain situations you just don't feel the same about a person anymore "
You can interpret this quote in 2 ways (or I just make it 2 ways) in a negative way an positive way. Let's start with the negative way.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were hurt by what someone did or said? This can change your view of this person in a negative way and maybe you will distance yourself from this person because of what happend. And the more I think about it ... the more situations pop up in my head and I realise that yes I have changed my view. But the positive way is also possible in my eyes. Have you ever been in a situation where you just gain so much respect for someone or when you have known someone for a while and suddenly you feel more open to this person in a romantic or friendship way? Also the more I think about it the more situation pop up. And there are a few. And now when I read this quote, I think about the positive way of it. Not the negative. What do you think about this quote?
Lately I have been sticking up more for myself and do less of people pleasing and I actually like it... it saves space in my head for other things. No more "I worry what this person things about me" or "I should do this so this person will like me when I behave like this" NO! Okay I still do it sometimes actually but less than before so that is some progress for myself! Yaaaay!
Like now there is still one person that changed their behaviour towards me and I can't figure out what I've done wrong ... maybe I didn't do anything wrong... idk! But I feel my people pleasing coming up with that person. Like a need approval to be myself or something from this person. So yeah this person rents space in my head...
What I also reflected on were my friends that I have and that I am actually blessed with each one of them. Sometimes when I'm with them I just watch and smile because it feels so nice to have friends. And each one is special for me. They all teach me something and allow me to grow. Thank you for this!
Someone said to me that I should do more what I like to do and I have been doing that. Like I'm going skiing in February which I just love! But most importantly... I'm okay being home by myself. I don't mind being at home and not do anything in the evening. Still it would be nice to have someone romantically but I'm not going to search for it. It will arrive when it will arrive.
I have a nice routine now which can still improve but at least I have one. I have some nice things to look forward to this year. Some new projects but I will talk about that when it's time. I'm trying not to rush anything. We will see what 2023 brings.
2 of my close friends are getting married this year and I'm invited on their bachelorette which just warms my heart because I didn't expect it but oooh I'm just so grateful. Sometimes I think... What if I wzs still using? I would have the life I have now. My life would be filled with emotional & financial stress and when to get my next fix. I'm so happy I don't use anymore and that I have a stable life filled with family, friends, love, joy,... And that a bad day is a bad day that will pass. Not the end of the world. In the beginning of February I will be celebrating 1500 Days... that is a lot! I am very proud of myself actually that I've quit using and turned my life around. That also not everything is about me and poor me or yaay me. Life is about all of us and our selflove so we can love others. I don't know if I explained this right but I think you get it!
To everyone: have a wonderful 2023 filled with everything you wish for!
Lot's of love
Xoxo
M_In_Recovery
